I Can’t Believe It’s Happened Again!
Once bitten, twice as painful.
A builder in Australia has been bitten on his penis by a poisonous spider for the second time this year.
The two-time loser, known only as “Jordan,” was bitten Tuesday while sitting on a portable toilet at a worksite in Sydney, according to the BBC.
It marked the first time he had used a portable toilet since April 27 when he was ― yes, you guessed it! ― bitten on his penis by a poisonous spider.
“I was sitting on the toilet doing my business and just felt the sting that I felt the first time,” Jordan told the BBC. “I was like ‘I can’t believe it’s happened again.’ I looked down and I’ve seen a few little legs come from around the rim.”
The first time, Jordan was bitten by a redback spider, the Aussie cousin of the infamous black widow spider.
However, he is not sure if the same type of spider bit him on Tuesday.
Jordan told Sydney radio personalities Kyle and Jackie O he tried to minimize any risks by thoroughly checking the seat before sitting down.
“It just got freshly cleaned out and it had this little crevasse underneath the actual bowl so I couldn’t lift it up to check,” Jordan said. “I thought I was safe and then obviously not.”
Adding insult to obvious injury, the new spider bite was in “pretty much the same spot” as the last one.
The hosts said their research suggested the odds of being bitten by a spider on the penis twice in one’s lifetime were 1 in 100 million.
Kyle, one of the show’s hosts, then asked Jordan point blank: “What do you think it is about your penis that makes it so attractive and delicious to spiders?”
Jordan’s response: “I don’t know. Just unlucky, I guess.”
The second bite feels “a bit sorer,” Jordan told the hosts. “It’s redder, a bit more swollen, it hurts a bit more. I got tetanus and anti-venom yesterday.”
His body may be healing but there’s no way to know how much psychological damage he will endure from being labeled “the unluckiest man in Australia” by newspapers like the Telegraph.
Jordan is expected to return to work soon. However, he’s still a bit concerned about using the on-site toilet when he does.
“I think I’ll be holding on for dear life to be honest,” he told the BBC.