Dark Sucker Theory and Its Fascinating Implications
Silicon Hell Validates Dark Sucker Theory
The Dark Sucker Theory is turning the science world upside down. For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light. However, recent information from Silicon Hell has proven otherwise. Electric lights don’t emit light; they suck dark. Thus they should be called Dark Suckers! Â
Basic Principles
The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. Take, for example, the dark suckers in the room where you are. There is less dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the dark sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. For example, the large devices on a football pitch have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room.
Limitations
As with all things, dark suckers don’t last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. The black spot on a full device proves this. A candle is an example of a very primitive sucking device. A new candle has a white wick. You will notice that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark which has been sucked into it. If you hold a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, the tip will turn black because it got in the path of the dark flowing into the candle.
Portability
Unfortunately, rudimentary suckers have a minimal range. There are also portable anti-black devices. These bulbs can’t handle all of the dark by themselves and must be aided by a dark storage unit. A typical example of this is your everyday rechargeable battery. When the dark storage unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable dark sucker can operate again. This is achieved by simply recharging the battery. At an atomic level, this removes the dark from the battery. This, in turn, returns the battery to full power.
Dark Has Mass
When dark enters an anti-dark device, friction from this mass generates heat. So, touching a device while it is operating is not a good idea. Candles present a special problem: the dark must travel in the solid wick instead of through glass. This generates a great amount of heat, making it dangerous to touch an operating candle. A more modern version of this is the discharging/recharging of a battery. I’m sure many of you have noticed that batteries get warm when used.
Dark Is Heavier Than Light
Imagine you are on a submarine looking out of the window. The deeper you descend, the darker it gets. You are in total darkness when you reach a depth of approximately fifty feet. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the Ocean, and the lighter light floats to the top.
The Dark Sucker Versus The Speed of Light
Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in a partially illuminated room in front of a closed, dark wardrobe and slowly open the wardrobe door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet, but since the dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the wardrobe. Therefore, it is proven that dark is much faster than the speed of light!
In conclusion
Artificial illuminations make all our lives much easier. So the next time you look at an electric light, remember that it is indeed a Siliconhell Dark Sucker!
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